


The Sadness of Eros

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Alexander Trilogy - Mary Renault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-19
Updated: 2006-12-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 03:47:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1629869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story by bluetears07</p><p>Alexander/Hephaistion: "[Alexander].said.'Without you I should go mad.'.[Hephaistion] offered instead the sadness of Eros, for this at least brought sleep." - Fire from Heaven, page 336.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Sadness of Eros

**Author's Note:**

> *Direct from text.
> 
> Written for Ceresi

 

 

Pinpricks of sunlight poured in from the window, bleeding through the wooden shutters to cast a gentle glow upon the livid bruises marring the skin along Hephaistion's ribcage. In the light of day the deep purple and blue tones shone in stark relief against the bronze skin that rose and fell with each slow breath. Short tapered fingers traced over the manmade discolorations. The tips of his callused fingers pressed against the skin until each bruise matched its maker. Each bruise a perfect imprint of those strong fingers, their shape rubbed into the man's fleshed.

Alexander had been awake since the deep red of daybreak, carefully examining every subtle curve and hard plan of his companion's slumbering body. He is always left in an indescribable mood the morning after he and Hephaistion spend the night together in the most elemental meaning of the word. It is this time when he feels most connected to his mortality and farthest removed from his immortal soul housed within the two bodies. The aftermath is the worst for he is painfully reminded of what was once there to make them whole once more. There is nothing to hold his racing mind together but the silent presences of his Hephaistion.

Every morning after it is as if great Achilles has lost his beloved Patroklos all over again.

The corners of Alexander's lips twisted down in a scowl as a muffled moan of pain escapes his sleeping friend. A deep crease was carved down the center of Alexander's forehead as he concentrated on the exploration of Hephaistion's body. He pulled his fingers away from the bruise his intense ardor yielded the night before. Instead, he charted a new course up the hard muscle of Hephaistion's arm and over his shoulder. His fingers moved slowly, burning the memory of every new dip and curve of skin into his mind. A shiver ran through the sleeping body as Alexander's blunt nails ghosted over the delicate skin of Hephaistion's his scalp. The prince's wandering hands paused for a moment while Hephaistion shifted restlessly, rolling onto his back.

"You are always so melancholy after these nights together." Hephaistion's soft voice rooted Alexander back down to earth as he felt the other young man's hand gently clasp his wrist. There was a lilting edge of playfulness sparking up the ends of his words that quickly faded as he look upon the face of his companion. Hephaistion held his hand flush against the center of Alexander's bare chest. "This sweet sadness runs deep, Alexander," he said slowly, carefully choosing his words. Hephaistion's quiet voice reflected the sorrow that was blossoming inside his chest. He will always be unable to stop the stemming place where Alexander hurts the worst. It is the prince's weight to carry alone, something created long before he and Hephaistion were made companions. He knew with a heavy heart that there was no consoling this part of his Alexander.

True friends share all but the past before they were joined as one being.

There is a silent moment while Alexander shifted his weight, swinging one leg over Hephaistion to straddle his hips. He leans in close, both hands slipping beneath the young man's head to cradle his skull. A kiss was dropped upon each cheek and forehead as he bowed his head as if in fervent prayer.

"It was true, Hephaistion." Alexander's voice is a low murmur, forcing Hephaistion to strain in order to hear every syllable. The pads of Alexander's thumbs graze over flushed cheekbones as his eyes search those still warmed over by a sleepy haze. He can feel the warmth of Hephaistion's skin nearly burning his own flesh, real and living, so mortal and beautiful--Alexander's mortal heart on display before him inside Hephaistion's soul. "What I said last night." Hephaistion's mind began to race, the light seeping back into the deep eyes searching the prince's two-toned gaze. "Without you--"

"Do not speak it again," Hephaistion said quickly, forcing away the bad omen once more, one that Alexander seems relentless to hold onto. He must keep it at bay unless it comes true in time to haunt them both and all the world. "I know, Alexander," he murmured in a solid tone, cutting off all thought of bad omens and madness. Long fingers wrapped around Alexander's nape, pulling him down into a slow kiss. The chapped caress of Hephaistion's lips always banish away the dark thoughts that swirl in his prince's mind, even if it is only but for a moment in time. Hephaistion tipped his head back, lips falling open as his warm tongue slipped out to trace the slightly swollen lips of Alexander. A familiar heat began to pool in the pit of the prince's stomach, spreading throughout his body in a ceaseless warmth.

"Alexander," a female voice called through the door, startling both young men. Alexander pulled away from his companion to listen to Kleopatra's  
Nubian slave girl, no doubt requesting Alexander's presence for her lady. "My lady says, please see her in the Queen's garden."*

"I can't come now."* Alexander called back through gritted teeth, his eyes never wavering from Hephaistion's solid gaze. "I'm busy."* He dips his head for another sweet kiss.

"Go to your sister," Hephaistion whispered against Alexander's lips, placing his hands on Alexander's shoulders and gently urged him to go. Alexander knows it is the right thing to do and remembers in vivid color just how much weight he should be putting upon Hephaistion's wise advice. Untangling his legs from Hephaistion's, Alexander dressed in silence though his eyes spoke volumes, as they remained set upon his companion's face. "I will see you at supper."

"Perhaps later," Alexander said after a moments thought, knowing his sister would only call upon him so when the matter was pressing and of real importance--much more than a passing child's fancy now that she was a young woman.

"I will be waiting." Hephaistion promised with a private smile only Alexander had been gifted as the prince slipped out the door. "You will never be without me for long, Alexander."

 


End file.
